Japanese Ice Wall Wakes Godzilla & Michael Phelps Saves Mothra—2020 Olympics Best Ever

godzilla

After allowing TEPCO to let radiation pour into the earth and ocean for 2 years, the Japanese government finally spent 470 million dollars to create a subterranean ice wall to contain the nuclear disaster.  The effort, an obvious ploy to ensure the International Olympic Committee selects Tokyo as the host for the 2020 Olympics, worked.

Seven years later…

Michael Phelps carries the torch up the stairs in Tokyo to light the cauldron as a whaling ship suddenly falls from the sky, crushing dozens of well-oiled Olympians and sending the stadium into panic.  Air raid sirens wind up as a piercing roar rises above the sound of stampeding fans.  A beam of blue energy disintegrates half of the stadium and  in the remaining seats of the structure,  a few thousand fans who are too busy instagramming the action are able to capture Mckayla Maroney not being impressed as those two miniature ladies summon Mothra to help.

Godzilla continues to swat planes from the sky like flies and melts tanks, rocket launchers, and heavy machine guns with atomic breath as it gleefully hucks pieces of the Olympic National Stadium into the surrounding area of Tokyo.  It’s starting to look real bad for Tokyo when Mothra Swoops in with Michael Phelps riding on her back.  She rams Godzilla, knocking him into what remains of the stadium and finishing off all but a few people who are running around trying to capture the best Vines.

The great beast lifts itself from the ground and blasts Mothra with atomic breath, stopping her heart and sending her crashing into the ground. Phelps dives into the open wound and swims to her heart. He rams himself into it repeatedly until it starts back up and sucks him inside of it. He drowns in the blood of a great one as Mothra summons a divine bolt of lightning that mortally wounds Godzilla and sends him back to the sea.

The little fairies sing some strange-ass song about Mothra as she flies away into the sunset and the internet gapes in horror at what can happen when Japan tries to put an expensive band-aid on one of the biggest nuclear power disasters in the history of the world.

 

 

 

 

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