Impossible Things

New Short: 5G For Free

Snow melted under spring birdsong while 5G towers sprouted across the country. Poorly disguised as trees, they promised to open a future of autonomous cars, advertisements on sidewalks, and connected homes that ordered your toilet paper for you when the roll was gone.

Somewhere in Salt Lake City, a 5G crew walked through an elementary school playground and back to their van to turn on and calibrate the 5G hardware on the school’s roof. Schools, fire stations, and police stations were some of the most common spots for towers.

“I have a headache, I get one every time I’m up there,” said John.

“Oh, you’re just making that up, “ said the boss. “We’ve got the science to prove it’s not harmful. Only anti-vaxxers and flat earthers believe radiation at these levels can cause a problem.”

Read it here: 5G for Free

Eat Me

“No, I could never do that. You’re my friend.”

“Look, you have it all confused. I want you to eat me, I’ll like it,” they said.­­

Read it here: Eat Me PDF

Or get it on Amazon for your kindle.

Step Right Up!

The line curled out of orbit — wrapped around and around and around the nearest star.
Souls from all the universes, dimensions, and planes traveled to this planet to wait …
And wait …
And wait …
Each of them had already cashed in their eternal savings to go on The Ride.
They were waiting to get fitted for the body suit they needed to step onto Earth.

Read it here: Step right up! PDF

Get on Amazon/Kindle here.

Fry Sauce: 

Utah loves it.
The world calls it by different names.
Everyone wants to know the Church’s secret recipe.
Of course, ketchup and mayonnaise.
But, there’s something that The Church uses makes their recipe irresistible on store shelves around the world.

Get on Amazon


"It was Ariel’s eighth birthday and time for her first agreement.

The town flowed into the great hall of the temple and filed into shattered pews. As they sat on broken seats, wicked metal dug into their flesh and grated against their bones. Their priest stood chained at the altar, nodding in approval.

Life was not meant to feel good."

Hello! I took this story down from the Amazon experiment so that I could enter it into a contest.

If you did buy it, it should still be available on your kindle/amazon account.

Either way, you can read the story here: Agreements PDF